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If drunk words are really sober thoughts, then we better stop thinking when we’re sober or talking when we’re drunk. These 19 things are almost guaranteed to come out of our mouths after that extra Long Island Iced Tea, but that doesn’t mean we actually mean them…

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“There was no remorse, only a smirk,” Martinez said. Ironically enough, the more drunk we are, the more we say it. “You’re so hot/I love your outfit/I wish I was you.” When we're drunk, we feel it's our civic duty to make all girls feel good, so we overextend our compliments and hand them out to everyone who walks by. Then we get overly aggressive and he just runs away. Or we just keep our secrets to ourselves and spill other people’s secrets. ” Because the other 172 pictures from the night just won’t suffice. “I’m gonna call/text him.” Because there couldn’t be a more perfect time to call our ex and tell him his new girlfriend is ugly. “I hate boys.” It turns out that not only do we hate them when we’re sober, but also when we're drunk. "I don't even care." When we're drunk, there are very few things that phase us. “I’m not that drunk.” We like to think telling people that we aren't that drunk creates some sort of an illusion. ” Sometimes we overestimate our interest in a guy and make him our primary goal for the night, no matter what it takes. Our friends leave us to go to the bathroom and we instantly feel like the abandoned troll no one wants to be friends with. “Whose brilliant idea was it to make waffles in the fireplace? “Guys, I lost my ____.” It starts with IDs, keys and phones; then, it quickly progresses to us losing shoes and friends. We even boldly and solemnly swear that we're wearing New Balance tennis shoes out next time. “You’re, like, my best friend.” We’ll say it to everyone: the bouncer, the random girls in the bathroom, the pizza delivery man. We feel the need to tell everyone about the time we peed our pants in seventh grade or the weird third-nipple deformity we were born with. cops tracked down Shia at his hotel and arrested him in the lobby, but he did not go quietly. " The rant got worse once he was in the police cruiser -- "I'm a f**king American, I pay my taxes, get these s**ts off my f**king arm." He also got racial, telling the black officer ...the President "doesn't give a f**k about you, and you wanna do what? " After unsuccessfully begging the cops to let him go ... "I got more millionaire lawyers than you know what to do with, you stupid bitch! he continued berating the officers, and also complained the handcuffs were way too tight.

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