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I once had a guy ask me out indirectly, which I thought was cute, but then when we were together I couldn't tell from his language/body language that he actually wanted to be there.That made me REALLY nervous because I was thinking the whole time "did he really NOT mean to ask me out? Did I somehow just make a big faux pas by assuming that this was a covert attempt at a date?Others, however, find the same strategies clever, flirty, and attractive.Ultimately, it is your call (and your tradeoff) between the direct and indirect approach. Attraction for more dating and relationship advice (in helpful categories)! This strikes me as akin to the investment brokers who call and say they want to discuss their ideas, "So, is the morning or the afternoon better for you? These strategies are somewhat akin to those found in sales. If you have not already done so, you might also want to check out my "Just Asking" articles.A less direct approach takes some of the risk and uncertainty out of the requesting. Fortunately, there are strategies and social skills to covertly ask for what you want.In fact, there are a number of compliance gaining strategies (ways to get others to do what you want) - some that don't require directly asking at all (Kellermann & Cole, 1994).
It turns the tables and has them try to come up with reasons why they shouldn't comply (which is difficult). Example: These techniques are both indirect and effective. While they avoid the awkwardness of asking directly, they can be construed by some as a bit manipulative (especially the "stronger" versions).
It is flattering to know that someone likes me and is nervous about approaching me.
It usually makes me feel more comfortable because I am nervous about approaching new people so strangely, seeing signs that another person is nervous makes me feel a little more relaxed (whew, we are in the same boat).
I have a hard time with this approach when it is used on me, especially repeatedly. So if you are too nervous the techniques are a fun reminder to get back to natural friendly ways as if you were friends. My friends and I don't communicate in this way, we are very straight forward with one another.
I have an ex who still will always say "Let me know when you want to ...." instead of just outright asking. This is what confident people usually do and confidence and naturalness and playfulness are usually welcome in most social circles -and especially in friendship and dating. In addition, I understand that everybody is different and some people are shyer and more reserved than others.